I recently read a new way to define the commonly used acronym ASAP.
ASAP, understood literally, really means as soon as you possibly can. But somewhere along the way, we've forgotten this. Today, often when we read ASAP, written in all caps, we forget the actual meaning. We read it and think: FIRE. URGENT. NOW. DELETE. Since it seems we no longer really understand the literal meaning of ASAP, what if we changed it? Consider: As Slowly As Possible What's the rush, really? I don't know about you, but the rush and hectic of the traditional ASAP may very well have gotten me somewhere, but sometimes I question where and if it was really worth it. PS - A great book about slow is In Praise of Slow by Carl Honore. I recently read an article by Tori Rodriguez in Scientific American Mind about how to use your ears to influence people.
'Practice listening without thinking ahead to what you're going to say when someone stops talking.' In a letter to the editor, a reader added her own thoughts: 'Perhaps assume you will be asking a question and trust that the 'right' question will come to the surface.' Ask the question. Listen. Trust they have the answer. Most people simply want to be seen and heard. Do this and you will build trust and respect. I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. - Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. Consider the many types of listening which you may be doing or not doing, aware of or unaware of:
http://bit.ly/VChuiD I recently took the opportunity to attend the Mindful Leadership Summit in Washington D.C. Joined by those from business, industry, government, spiritual teachers and practitioners and educators, it was an insightful and meaningful 3-day event. When I looked back through my scribbled notes from the Summit, I consistently came back to the same word over and over again. Space, the taking and making of space as well as our incredible need for it in the current world we live and work in. Mindful SPACE: Mindfulness is moment-to-moment awareness of our present moment experience. We now know taking space for mindfulness and training the brain leads to increased focus, higher productivity, higher retention and reduced time spent in meetings, to name a few. We know we can change our ‘plastic’ brains and rewire it to decide, react and think in other ways. Not convinced? Try it out yourself. If you’d like the research studies, let us know. Be Real SPACE: It’s no surprise that the word vulnerability came up quite often during the Summit. Showing up, being real, being human are all part of what it takes to be a mindful and compassionate leader. We want, no, we need our leaders to be human, for us to be seen and be heard by them. Being vulnerable means taking an approach of whole person leadership and seeing people for their whole selves and not ‘only’ their work role. Innovative SPACE: We want to fully show up, but worry about the consequences of doing so. US American Clothing Designer, Eileen Fisher, left me with several memorable thoughts. We leave ourselves at home and show up at work as the C-Suite something, the VP, the Director, the Marketing Manager. We think we have to know. And because of this, we stop questioning. You know what happens when you stop asking questions? You stop being curious and creative, two essential qualities you need to be innovative. Think innovation doesn’t matter? Think again. It’s what’s keeping organizations going these days. PS: You can’t think innovation. Having a meeting to think ‘innovatively’ doesn’t lead to innovation. Being innovative is a by-product of creating a curious, creative and questioning organizational culture. Go into your next conversation, your next meeting as if you don’t know the answer. Be open to outcome, curious, and questioning. Gut SPACE: During the Summit, I was reminded of the purpose and importance of listening to our gut. A little over a year ago, I had emergency surgery to stop internal bleeding, just in time. Had I waited, I wouldn’t be writing these words today. Throughout the day, I KNEW something was not right, though I couldn’t say just what. My thoughts tried to tell me otherwise, but it was my gut that told me to do something fast. Listening to your gut is rooted in real science. Our brain sends us a signal, literally, to our gut. How often are you listening and trusting your gut, creating SPACE to be able to listen? Organizational SPACE: A mindful leader matters. A mindful organization makes the difference. How can you become a more mindful organization and team? What rules need to change within the system? Mindfulness is not only about an individual. It is about a creating a culture of mindfulness. Sure, it is great if 1 person is paying more attention in a meeting. Imagine, though, if everyone in that meeting was actually there, present and paying attention. Not checking their phones and not responding to other e-mails. What would be possible? Change the rules, change the system. A mindful organization includes: · taking risk · being vulnerable & showing up · openness to creating and changing culture · challenging the system · sustaining change · having permission Priority SPACE: Just as we make time management or meeting numbers a business priority, presence needs to be a business priority too. As we work in attention-deficit teams and organizations, a lack of presence impacts our bottom line. Not paying attention costs money, costs jobs, costs lives. Respect and manage attention and presence. Start a meeting with a moment of presence and see how the results of the meeting change. Make presence matter and make it count, literally. Quality SPACE: Where does power lie within your organization? Power is in the quality of what is said. This can go beyond a power position you have. How do you create quality space? Get people to talk as human beings first, get to their concerns, their fears, their underlying motivations. Then, move them beyond or detach them from their power positions (VP, C-Suite, Director, etc.). Quality space is created. Conflict SPACE: US Congressman Tim Ryan spoke about conflict within politics. He says that politics is at its best when conflict is there. I would argue the same can be true for organizations and teams. When opinions are strong, passions are strong, conflict is going to be a part of the decision-making process. The conflict is not going away because you ignore it. This actually creates stress. // stress: wanting things to be different than the way they are. // Conflict around an issue can bring more clarity, awareness, appreciation and acceptance of the conflict. Taking SPACE for conflict also leads you to more comfort within the ‘gray’ area and realizing you may be only ½ right. No one is smart enough to be right all the time. Likewise, no no one is dumb enough to be wrong all the time. Responsibility SPACE: Radical Responsibility™ is set of strategic best practices developed by Fleet Maull and designed to empower leaders, organizations, teams and individuals to create and sustain the highest levels of success by embracing 100% responsibility for everything that shows up in their business, organizational or personal domain, everything. Through Radical Responsibility we discover the freedom, power and creativity generated by one simple question ‘What else can I (we) do?’ 1-Second SPACE: Implement the 1-second rule. Before you react, take 1-second. ‘Just’ one second. What is the best response you need to take NOW to be your best self? Take this 1-second, choose your next response to an e-mail, a person, an interruption. By slowing down and taking 1-second to choose to do the right thing, the mindful thing, and not just the next thing in front of you. Room SPACE: Find a place (literally) so you can do, be, think something different. Maybe this is your office. Close your door. A conference room. A common area. A lunch area. Your car. The train. A museum. Nature. The treadmill. Find a physical place of presence for you where you can come from a place of mindfulness, compassion, gratitude and appreciation. Paying attention, training your mind and becoming more present is simple andalways available to us. And it is very hard work, all at the same time. Interested in learning more? Caterpillar Spirit can support you, your team and organization in creating and sustaining mindful intercultural change and global leadership. Learn more here: www.caterpillarspirit.com ‘Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.’ – Anne Lamott 'What other people think of you is none of your business.’ Some may misunderstand this as an arrogant statement, but if you look at it with a perspective that there are three kinds of ‘business’ to be involved in – mine, yours and a higher power’s business (whatever that means to you - or not) - it takes on different meaning.
A lot of our stress comes from living outside of our own business: telling others how they should be, have others tell us how we should be, worrying about death, earthquakes, fires, etc. We really should only be in ‘our own’ business and once we are, we also come to realize that we don’t have much business here either and that our life runs pretty well on its own, if we would just let it!
To manage change, you need to follow a process.
For a transformation, you need the right attitude. Change doesn't require a new attitude, transformation does. Change is about information, skills, knowledge. Transformation is about attitude. People can change all the time. Transformation is more rare. But when it happens, it moves. Change fixes the past. Transformation creates the future. I've decided to stop trying to find balance. I don't think it's possible nor realistic. As soon as you find 'it' and are momentarily balanced, something happens and you feel out of balance. Instead, I've decided to simply practice balancing. Sometimes, I need training wheels to keep my balance. Other times, I feel balanced riding without. Being balanced is not a one-time event. Balancing is an everyday practice. And sometimes you still need your training wheels. Development -- personal, professional, organizational -- is a life-long process.
It is not a 1/2-day training. It is not a 2-day training. It is not training. It is a continual process that takes time, patience, energy, motivation, support, trust and committment. Development is a process, not an event. Asking the question WHY in my coaching sessions doesn't happen so often.
You may be asking yourself, 'But why?' The question WHY seeks rationalization and can cause us to create and put into words a list of rational reasons for our decisions or actions. These reasons may or may not be true and may or may not actually be helpful. They only answer the question WHY. When we ask WHY, we embed ourselves deeper and deeper into our already exsiting beliefs and opinions. It often leads us to feel and be defensive. When we are defensive, we are not open to new ideas and possibilities and able to learn. Coaching - without the why - provides the structure through questioning to stretch your existing beliefs and opitions and offer new perspectives and options. Someone says: I can’t. A possible response: Why not? WHY focuses us on the past and moves us backwards towards reasons and memories. Instead of asking WHY, try asking: What stops you? -- Switches the focus on the barrier itself and what is stopping you. What would happen if you could? – Begins the process of imagining solving the problem. This can be a very powerful question. As a consequence of the way our brains process the language of the question, we don’t even really think about what is happening. In order to answer the question, we have to imagine that we have solved the problem. Through our own answer, we give ourselves options and resources we didn’t know existed and the empowerment to take action. In addition, we can find hidden thoughts (fears, stress, etc.) about what we think if we actually did it. Often times it is here where we can see the once hidden barriers to making changes. Quick Tips for Replacing WHY I’ve included a handful of other questions to answer the ‘I can’t’ in your life.
For me, ‘I can’t’ isn’t a reason why I can or cannot do something. It's just an action verb. Asking other kinds of questions can lead us to figure out what we can do, what we really want do and how we can do it. 'Seek to understand first, before being understood.' – Steven Covey Active Listening allows you and other individuals to engage in a dialogue where you are both equipped with clarity and understanding of the purpose, content & outcome of the discussion.
It is an empowering and important skill in leading and managing diverse teams. 1. Look at the individual, stop the other things you are doing and remove distractions. 2. Listen not only to the words, but pay attention to the tone and emotions of the individual. 3. Be attentive to what the individual is talking about. 4. Restate what the person said in your own words to ensure complete understanding. 5. Be patient. 6. Respect the silence needed. 7. Respect the pauses and let the individual finish speaking. 8. Ask meaningful and clarifying questions. 9. Be aware of your own emotions and opinions. 10.If you wish to offer your own opinion, only do this after you have listened. If you think you could improve your active listening, let us know. Our Integral Leadership Development Program (IGLD) includes reflections, practice, and tips. |
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