I often wonder about identity. What does it mean these days? How do we identify with the multiple identities we all have?

In reconciling my own multiple identities, I am more open and less fearful to someone else's multiple identities.

We are much more than a single identity.

I am a human being. born in X, studied in Y, married C and now living in F.
I am.

How do you manage your multiple identities? What kind of communities are created when we honor  and respect each others multiple identities?

Are you ready for coaching? Would you answer the questions below with yes or no?

1. I am ready to do what it takes to reach my goals.                           
2. I am willing to listen to the viewpoint of someone else.           
3. I am willing to invest in myself.                                             
4. I am willing to get out of my comfort zone and try new things.         
5. I am willing to make the commitment necessary to make the changes I am seeking.                                                
6. I am willing to commit to the process, knowing that change doesn’t happen overnight.                                                 
7. I am willing to ask for support and accept the support I receive.      
8. I am ready to invest in myself.                                              
9. I am ready to put myself first in my life and work.                             

 
Give yourself one point for every yes you circled and 0 points for every no you circled.  Count up the number of yes’s and then the number of no’s.
 
If you scored:
 
8-10 points You are ready to make the investment and hire a coach.  Your commitment level is high and you will achieve much from working with a coach.
 5-7 points.  You are almost there.  During your trial session, work with a coach on areas that are getting in your way.  Ask the coach to support you in removing those blocks so you can move forward and begin to create the change you want in your life.
 0-4 points.  Most likely you are not ready to hire a coach.  During your trial session, ask the coach for suggestions on what you could do to prepare yourself to begin the process of change.

Learn more about Caterpillar Spirit Coaching here.

Knowing about a cultural difference is one part of learning.

Knowing which cultural difference makes a difference for you and the people you are interacting with is a more important part of cultural learning.

Not all differences will make a difference for you.

Cultural differences do not explain everything.

Start asking questions about what cultural differences actually make a difference for you.

Today, our Top Tips focus on 10 tips to Help Pack (and Un-Pack) Your House and Home

1. Bring the Kitchen Table. Or something tangible which reminds you of home, provides some comfort as well as stability in those moments when you’re feeling unsure and not at ‘home’.

2. Turn knobs inside out. If you are having professional movers, they should know to do this. If not, to be sure knobs are not scratched, unscrew them from the outside and re-screw them on the inside of the drawer. No lost screws and no scratched knobs. This inside out rule applies for other items as well, for example your sugar bowl lid.

3. What to put in your luggage. Your air shipment and/or container will take some time to arrive in your new home. Therefore, pack not only essential items (medicine) in your checked luggage, but also a few items that are also very useful to have (though perhaps not essential) but will provide some comfort in the first weeks.

4. Unpack as quickly as you can. Even if it is just one box at a time, unpack as quickly as you can so that the walls become filled with color and the tables filled with photos. Not only do you need to get used to your home, but your possessions need to find their place too!

5. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Yes, I know what I just said in point 4. However, keep in mind, you have just arrived in a new country and are perhaps overwhelmed with many things. Remember, unpacking doesn’t have to be done in a day or within a week. Balance your time and listen to your body. If you need a break, take a break.

6. Labels. Use them as often as you can. Use colored labels. Use room named labels. Use home level labels. Fragile. This End UP. Load last. Unload first. Whatever kind of labeling system works for your and your items is best. Just remember to label and mark the boxes.

7. Legal. Be sure you know what you are allowed and not allowed to ship and bring with. Check with the moving company as government regulations and the specific rules of the moving company may differ.

8. Mental Move. Keep in mind, while you are labeling your possessions, about your mental move as well. What goes in your air shipment (need immediately)? What goes in your SEA shipment (need, but not right away)? What goes in STORAGE (needed, but not in the new country)? What stays (things to let go of and are no longer of use for you)?

9. A picture is worth 1000 words. Use a camera to take pictures of how complicated wiring is hooked up. Label wires. Keep plastic bags handy for screws and small pieces essential to rebuilding furniture and electronics.

10. Get a massage. Remember moving day is moving day. This is no longer a packing day! This is the day the movers come and fill the container. Most often, they don’t need everyone to be around all the time for this. Take this time for yourself, relax and know that things are moving along.

Working in the field of professional and personal development, we often focus on soft skills and not hard skills. However, the soft skills are often the hardest skills for so many. But those are the skills that matter and prevail.

Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard.

This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.
- Lao Tzu (600 BC)

Expatriation brings with it a unique set of challenges. We've included some of these challenges below as well as challenging questions to get you to think about how you can change and improve your perspective.

Challenges

1. Unclear objectives of the assignment

• Why am/are I/we doing this?

2. Unclear and/or unrealistic expectations

• What do I expect of myself?
• Is this realistic? If not, what is?

3. Small world mentality

• Am I frustrated due to a minimization of the differences?

4. Boredom

• How can I create a routine for myself?

5. Reduced productivity

• First, see #1. Second, ask yourself, how can I better manage my personal and professional goals during this transition? Hint: It typically takes the normal expat at least 6 months to reach productivity levels of their home country, so don't be so hard on yourself!

6. Mental and/or physical problems

• How can I take better care of myself?

7. Overwhelmed and pulled priorities

• How can I place boundaries on my time?

8. A loss of support network

• What resources exist? Remember to include virtual resources!

9. Not learning the language fast enough

• What will I do so I speak/hear/read the host language everyday? Also, see #2.

10. Negative attitude toward host nationals

• How can I increase my empathy? What else is going on that I am unaware of?

Completely removing all frustrations from our lives and from all relationships is an unrealistic goal.

However, reducing our stress cycle to a particular situation can truly change in how we approach life. If a current stress cycle to a challenging situation is 1 week, setting a goal to reduce it to 3 days is realistic and gives back the control one may need in managing the frustration and knowing it can be managed in a different manner.

Yes, it is going to be frustrating but perhaps not for 1 week.

It may not be easy, but it certainly can be easier.

Reminding yourself of these helpful questions in the middle of stress cycle, however long, can help:

• How much time, energy and frustration do I want to choose to give to this particular issue?
  
• In doing so, am I aware that putting my energy in this place will take it away from another place?
  
• Is this what I want? Is this what am I committed to?
  

When we first start working with a new coaching client, we spend time defining what coaching is and what it isn't. There is quite a bit of confusion out there. If you're unsure yourself, here a quick overview. 

Coaching & Therapy – therapy focuses on feelings and experiences related to past events. Coaching focuses on the present and the future. Coaching encourages the client to move forward. A therapist normally works with dysfunctional people to get them to a functional state. Therapists works with individuals who need to become emotionally healthy. Therapists deal with past issues and how to overcome them.  Coaching is where the client is right now, where they want to be next and how to get them there. It is important to know when a client needs therapy and not coaching.

Coaching & Consulting – consulting and consultants tend to provide advice. The coach provides the space for the client to discover their own solution and their own answer. Coaches do not provide the answers. The client does; the coach guides them. A consultant is a specialist in one area and provides solutions. Coaches are not specialists in one area – they don’t need to be as they are not experts in finding the answer for the client – this is the work of the client. Coaching is a holistic approach. The coach has the questions that allow the client to find their own answers and clarify their values.

Coaching & Counselor - A counselor provides information and expertise. The relationship is typically hierarchical – a parent /child for example. It is based on the past and focuses on fixing a problem. Coaching relationships are future based, action oriented and not hierarchical. The coach and client partner together. The coach and client walk side by side.  

Coaching & Mentoring - A mentee establishes a relationship with an expert in the field. Mentors are usually older and have more experienced and specialized in their field. It is more of a teacher / student relationship – learning takes place from the teacher to student. The student looks up to the mentor for information and guidance. Coaching is a partnership. Clients draw on their own wisdom and follow their own guidance to meet their goals.

Learn more about our coaching programs here. Or send us a short note with your questions and interest.

Some may misunderstand this as an arrogant statement, but if you look at it with a perspective that there are three kinds of ‘business’ to be involved in – mine, yours and a higher power’s business (whatever that means to you - or not) - it takes on different meaning.

A lot of our stress comes from living outside of our own business: telling others how they should be, have others tell us how we should be, worrying about death, earthquakes, fires, etc. 

We really should only be in ‘our own’ business and once we are, we also come to realize that we don’t have much business here either and that our life runs pretty well on its own, if we would just let it!